Hello Beautiful One,
There's so much I want out of life, I'm sure I've told you that before. I've never been closer than I am now to what I want and what I believe in. Unfortunately, there are road bumps and stops. Or is it unfortunate at all? Patience is something I struggle with. I want things when I want them, how I want them, and that's just that. What's that saying? "If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans."
The road I have traveled on has been nothing short of unpredictable. Looking back over it all, my wait time was years, but then it happened in the span of a year at the same time. I think about what catapulted me forward to California. Faith, yes, but was there something more? Did I finally align myself with my true desires? Did I finally accept myself deeply? Was I honest with myself enough to do what people have called "crazy"?
I've been thinking a lot about the idea of "wait". You've read me give you the advice "hurry up and wait", but what does that mean? In my weekly deep thinking, I've thought about what I want more. I want to be in love and there's someone I have in mind. I want to be in shape and there's a number I have in mind. I want to be an influencer and there's a following I have in mind. I want multiple things that I do believe can be mine, but it's a process. It's a wait. I've accepted that faith doesn't make sense, it makes more faith, but what lies beyond that: the wait. What are you doing while you're waiting for your dreams to come true. Why is "how" we wait so important?
You can't be the same old you in a new space
We ask for love, but haven't taught ourselves how to do it. We want to be in shape, but haven't started eating better. We want, we want, we want, and we wait, but hate ourselves when nothing happens. A star athlete doesn't become a star without development. In the "wait", we have to be willing to evolve. We have to be willing to expand and learn because our desires will come. If we are not careful, our old ways will destroy our new space.
you must learn to let go and forgive
While we're waiting for the life we imagine, what about the life we lived before? What do we do with it? There's hurt there. There's betrayal there. There's gunk there. What if the "wait" is also the pruning process to teach us how to embrace forgiveness. Shit happens. We hurt people and people hurt us, but it didn't kill your desire for a better life. What if the "how" is just learning how to let go.
you owe yourself
You know who you owe an explanation to? YOU. In the wait, why don't you take care of yourself? Walk in the Sun. Dance in the rain. Life is too short to hate yourself and maybe the "how" during the wait is just caring for yourself. Whether you believe it or not...you deserve better from yourself. Expand what you believe about yourself postively while you wait.
Every morning that the Sun rises on your eyes and God wakes you up is another day to be better. We are born to thrive, to evolve, to grow. Growth isn't hard because of what we take in, it's hard because of what we let go. It is the essence of taking a deep breath and releasing all that you knew to embrace what you will know. As you wait for your love, for your dream, for your health, for your wealth, your posture demands straightening. We must make space for the tears to water the ground and provide life to our souls. "How" we wait is how we begin to see each other beyond our past and begin to embrace love in it's purest form because we first began to embrace ourselves.
We are in this together. You are not alone. Keeping growing. Keep fighting. It's all coming together.
I love you,
G.E.M. Stone
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