Hi, Beautiful One,
What a tough week! It's safe to say I am over it. Usually, when I reach a breaking point, there's a warning. I have a sense of when it's coming. I didn't see it this time. Making space for everything is not for the faint of heart. Some areas of life will bleed into the other. It will come with a choice: adapt and adjust. I did neither.
My every instinct was to fold in on myself this week. I did to some extent, but I soon recognized the slope I was going down. There is a dark side to you. It is a representation of all the survival tactics you had to learn. It's a culmination of your fear, your pain, and your mistakes. That person fueled by guilt and shame will take you down if you let them. I came face to face with mine.
I used to think this version of me was ugly. I despised myself until I realized it was the only thing that kept me going. It's so easy to want to forget versions of ourselves. We want to act like our worst selves didn't lead us to healing. So, what do we do when old habits try to make a comeback?
Remember Your Foundation
Remember all the work you have done to create a stable life? Yeah? Here is the time to look at it. Whatever your routine may be, it's a process you have perfected. It came from a dark space, but it's creating light in your life now.
Check In With Yourself
The warning comes before destruction. Don't ignore the signs! Your body, mind, and emotions are telling you something is up! I'll never understand how people can check in with others and not check in with themselves! Be kind to yourself, please.
Keep Going
I know I say this a lot. I know it hurts. I get it. It seems like nothing is going your way. Life seems to be mediocre, but you are doing amazing things. You have made changes only you could achieve. Here is your story. It gets boring like everyone else, but that doesn't give you a reason to stop. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Who you are now came from who you were. All versions of you were and are deserving of love. When you accept what was and live in what is, what will be becomes easy to face. I know you're tired. I understand when it feels like nothing is changing. But the moment we feed what we believe is our inability to succeed is the moment we lose. Don't give up. You are closer than you think.
I love you,
G.E.M. Stone
Comments